This year 2022 is coming to an end. And it has been good for some and bad for some. These amazing sarcastic and witty new year quotes are all about how your last year was and how you want the new year to be. Read these sarcastic new year quotes to find the right words to express how you feel.
Sarcastic New Year Quotes
1.. “My New Year’s resolution is to be more positive and less sarcastic. Like I won’t screw that up right away.”
2. “This year, my wish is that everyone gets exactly what they deserve.”
3. Many years ago I resolved never to bother with New Year’s resolutions, and I’ve stuck with it ever since.
4. “I would make a status saying happy new year! But I really don’t like any of you, nor do I want your year to be happy..”
5. “My resolution was to read more so I put the subtitles on my tv.”
6. What do you tell someone you didn’t see at New Year’s Eve? I haven’t seen you for a year!
7. Do not get disappointed because you could not achieve something. You might have some that people are wishing for many years. Do check this article and share your favorite funny happy new year image with us.
8. “Happy new year! Don’t forget to make some resolutions you’ll never keep and put up a new wall calendar you’ll never look at.” “sarcastic new year quotes”
9. “The library before finals look like the gym after new Year.”
10. “Not all girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. Some girls are made of sarcasm, wind, and everything fine.”
11. “I don’t have a new year’s resolution you don’t need that crap when you’re perfect.”
12. “New Year’s resolution last year needs to get in shape for spring. This year need to get in shape for airport screening.”
13. “If you’re born in September, it’s pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.”
14. Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.
Funny New Year Quotes
15. New Year’s Eve forecast: Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out.
16. “Today at the gym I asked a girl what her new year’s resolution is, She said “F*** you” so I’m pretty excited for 2022.”
17. “I want to get so drunk that if vampires bit my neck they’d get a Bloody Mary.”
18. “What do you tell someone you didn’t see on New Year’s Eve? I haven’t seen you for a year!”
19. “I don’t even drink! I can’t stand the taste of alcohol. Every New Year’s Eve I try one drink and every time it makes me feel sick. So I don’t touch booze – I’m always the designated driver.” – Kim Kardashian
20. “Many years ago, I made a New Year’s resolution to never make new year’s resolutions. Hell, it’s been the only resolution I’ve ever kept!” “sarcastic new year quotes”
21. “I don’t call them new year’s resolutions. I prefer the term, “casual promises to myself that I’m under no legal obligation to fulfill.””
22. “My new year’s resolution is to stop procrastinating. I am not starting until next week though.”
23. “People treat New Year’s like some sort of life-changing event. If your life sucked last year, it’s probably still going to suck tomorrow.”
24. “I can’t believe it’s been a year since I didn’t become a better person.”
25. People say that laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
26. “May all your troubles last as long as your new Year’s resolutions.”
27. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments in this New Year!!
28. “I love it when they drop the ball in Times Square. It’s a nice reminder of what I did all year.”
New Year Resolution
29. “My new year’s resolution? I’ll probably keep it at 1280 x 1024 like always. Thanks for asking.”
30. “I don’t have a new year’s resolution you don’t need that crap when you’re perfect.”
31. It’s officially New Year’s Eve, you only have a couple of hours to do all the things you will resolve not to do in the new year.
32. “My New Year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.” “sarcastic new year quotes”
33. “To my friends, I wish you peace, love and health. Blah, blah blah… screw that! I wish you lots of booze, and hope you win Lotto.”
34. “Many years ago I resolved never to bother with New Year’s resolutions, and I’ve stuck with it ever since.”
35. “When I think about all my happiest memories from the past year, there’s one thing common denominator you. Happy new year!”
36. My New Year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.
37. Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.
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Exciting Quotes
38. “Remember you can reset your new year resolutions on January 14th (Orthodox new year) and February 8th (Chinese new year). After that, even I can’t help you.”
39. I don’t have a new year’s resolution you don’t need that crap when you’re perfect.
40. “My new year’s resolution was going to be that I would stop being sarcastic, but dammit, I’m no quitter.”
41. “Dear new year’s resolution, well, it was fun while it lasted. Sincerely, January 2nd.”
42. “New Year’s Resolution… More time on the treadmill.”
43. “Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.”
44. “People say that laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.”
45. Dear Luck, …..can we be friends in 2021 Please?
46. “Here comes another one for the motivated people, New Year resolution … More time on Treadmill.”
47. The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.
48. “New year’s day now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.” – Mark Twain
49. “I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.” “sarcastic new year quotes”
50. “New Year’s Resolution: Option A: lose weight Option B: Buy a Bigger Basket.”
51. I want to get so drunk that if vampires bit my neck they’d get a Bloody Mary.
52. “A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.”
Happy New Year
53. “Well, my imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems. Happy New Year!!”
54. “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments in this New Year!!” “sarcastic new year quotes”
55. “Best New Year’s Resolution: Start giving up. Giving Up.”
56. “An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.” – Bill Vaughn
57. “My wife still hasn’t told me what my New Year’s resolutions are.”
58. Don’t expect any New Year’s resolutions from me. I plan on staying the same awkward, sarcastic, foul-mounted delight, that you have all come to know and love!
59. “What do you call always having a date for New Year’s Eve? Social Security.”
60. “It’s time to make old mistakes in different ways. Hurray! Happy new year!”
61. “What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar on New Year’s Eve? He got 12 months!”
62. I’m actually feeling pretty okay about not accomplishing anything this year.
63. “New Year’s is just a holiday created by calendar companies who don’t want you reusing last year’s calendar.”
64. “My New Year’s resolution is to help all my friends gain ten pounds so I look skinnier.”
65. My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.
66. “Every year I make a resolution to change myself……. this year I’m making a resolution to be myself!”
67. “Every new year I resolve to lose 20 pounds and I do the problems is that I gain 20.”
Cheers to Another Year
68. “My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.” “sarcastic new year quotes”
69. “I don’t believe in plastic surgery. But in your case, go ahead in this New Year.”
70. I don’t believe in plastic surgery. But in your case, go ahead in this New Year.
71. “Cheer’s to another year of resolutions we won’t finish. Happy New Year!”
72. “The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.”
73. Here are just a few more funny sarcastic New Year quotes you’ll love.
74. “My new year’s resolution is to be more positive and less sarcastic. How long do you think this fantasy will last?”
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75. “Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.”
76. “Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.”
77. Here comes another one for the motivated people, New Year resolution … More time on Treadmill.
Exciting New Year Quotes
78. “If you’re born in September, it’s pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.”
79. “My new year’s resolution is to stop lying to myself about making lifestyle changes.”
80. “Don’t expect any new year’s Resolutions from me. I plan on staying the same awkward, sarcastic, Foul-mouthed delight, That you’ve all come to know and love!”
81. “My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.” “sarcastic new year quotes”
82. “I will no longer wish you more success. You’ve had so much already. It should be mine this year! Happy new year to me!”
83. “I’m actually feeling pretty okay about not accomplishing anything this year.”
84. My new year’s resolution was going to be that i whould stop being sarcastic, but dammit, I’m no quitter.
85. “You’d be in good shape, if you ran as much as your mouth. Happy New Year!”
86. Before I agree to 2022, I need to see some terms & conditions.
87. Many years ago, I made a New Year’s resolution to never make new year’s resolutions. Hell, it’s been the only resolution I’ve ever kept!
88. Not all girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. Some girls are made of sarcasm, wind, and everything fine.
89. You’d be in good shape, if you ran as much as your mouth. Happy New Year!
90. “New Year’s is just a holiday created by calendar companies who don’t want you reusing last year’s calendar.”
91. “Funny Movie 2012 Fact… Today is the fifth death anniversary of our planet. rest in peace.”
92. Every New Year’s I have the same question: ‘How did I get home?
Amazing Quotes
93. “This new year I resolved to lead a better life. Now all I have to do is find someone who will trade lives with me. Happy new year.”
94. “No New Year / New me here I’ll be the same honest as at 12:01 that I was at 11:59.”
95. What do you call always having a date for New Year’s Eve? Social Security.
96. New Year’s is just a holiday created by calendar companies who don’t want you reusing last year’s calendar. “sarcastic new year quotes”
97. Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.
98. Well, my imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems. Happy New Year!!
99. “It’s officially New Year’s Eve, you only have a couple of hours to do all the things you will resolve not to do in the new year.”
100. Every year I make a resolution to change myself……. this year I’m making a resolution to be myself!
These sarcastic new year quotes will help you reach out to your loved ones. Have the best experience of the year ahead.
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StudentsandScholarship Team.
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