– Funny Coffee Quotes –
You would have known by now that there is a certain addiction to coffee. Obviously, this has to be because the volume of coffee consumed by humans in a day is far higher than most other substances. Doubtlessly, the many many funny coffee quotes are inspired by the strong attraction people have for this substance.
Do you know any funny coffee quotes? If your reply is negative, then it clearly shows you do not take coffee. The culture of taking coffee is global and has transcended multiple nations. Little wonder why we have funny coffee quotes from all classes of people.
Thus, this article is going to take through some lovely and funny coffee quotes. Learn and get entertained.
Really Hilarious and Funny Coffee Quotes
Interestingly, many people have given funny coffee quotes. Since it is a likable substance, many people love to joke with it. This article has the most outstanding and funny coffee quotes there are.
1. “Actually, this seems to be the basic need of the human heart in nearly every great crisis–a good hot cup of coffee.”–Alexander King.
2. “Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee.”-Stephanie Piro.
3. “Black as night, sweet as sin.”–Neil Gaiman
4. “A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.” – Alfred Renyi
5. “Black as the devil, hot as hell, pure as an angel, sweet as love.” — Charles Maurice de Millerand
6. “Almost all my middle-aged and elderly acquaintances, including me, feel about 25, unless we haven’t had our coffee, in which case we feel 107.” -Martha Beck
7. “Black coffee must be strong and boiling; if strong coffee does not agree with you, do not drink black coffee. And if you do not drink black coffee, do not drink any coffee at all.” – Andre Simon.
8. “Adventure in life is good… consistency in coffee even better.” – Justina Headley
9. “Coffee – it’s the lifeblood that fuels the dreams of champions! – Mike Ditka
10. “Chocolate and coffee? Together? Whoever came up with that combination should have won a Nobel Peace Prize. Or at least a subscription to Reader’s Digest.” -Darynda Jones.
11. “Coffee connects us in so many ways – to each other, to our senses, and to the earth that supports the coffee trees.” – Rohan Marley
12. “Caffeine and sugar, the two basic food groups.” – Laurell K. Hamilton
13. “Coffee first. Schemes later.”-Leanna Renee Hieber
14. “But even a bad cup of coffee is better than no coffee at all. New York has great water for coffee.” – David Lynch
15. “Coffee has two virtues: it is wet and warm.” -Dutch Proverb
16. “As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be?”-Cassandra Clare
17. “Coffee in England always tastes like a chemistry experiment.” – Agatha Christie
18. “I can’t imagine a day without coffee. I can’t imagine!”-Howard Schultz
19. “Coffee in England is just toasted milk.” – Christopher Fry
20. “I could smell myself awake with that coffee.”-Jaesse Tyler
21. “Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.” – Alphonse Allais
22. “I don’t know how people live without coffee, I really don’t”.–Martha Quinn
23. “Coffee is a language in itself”-
24. “I don’t see the point in caffeine without coffee. Or coffee without caffeine.”-Robyn Schneider
25. “Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self.” – Terry Pratchett
26. “I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee.”-Carly Simon
27. “Coffee is good for talent, but genius wants prayer.”-Ralph Waldo Emerson
28. “I have measured out my life with coffee spoons”.–T.S.Eliot
29. “Coffee is the best thing to douse the sunrise with.” — Terri Guillemets
30. “I judge a restaurant by the bread and by the coffee.” – Burt Lancaster
31. “Coffee is the average person’s gold, and like gold, it brings to every person the feeling of luxury and nobility.”- Sheik-Abd-al-Kadir
32. “I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.” – Lewis Black
33. “Coffee makes us severe, and grave, and philosophical.”-Jonathan Swift
34. “I like my coffee as I like myself: strong, sweet, and too hot for you.”-Jac Vanek
35. “Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death and sweet as love.” – Turkish proverb
36. “I never laugh until I’ve had my coffee.” – Clark Gable
37. “Coffee smells like freshly ground heaven.” – Jessi Lane Adams
38. “Given enough coffee, I could rule the world.”-Terry Pratchett
39. “Coffee was food in that house, not a drink.”-Patricia Hampl
40. “Free yourself from the slavery of tea and coffee and other slop kettles!” -William Cobbett
41. “Coffee, (which makes the politician wise, / And see thro’ all things with his half-shut eyes).” – Alexander Pope
42. “Even terrible coffee is better than no coffee at all.”-David Lynch
43. “Coffee, the favorite drink of the civilized world.”Thomas Jefferson
44. “Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?”-Jean Kerr
45. “Coffee, the finest organic suspension ever devised”. – Star Trek: Voyager
46. “Decaffeinated coffee is kind of like .” – Bob Irwin
47. “I orchestrate my mornings to the tune of coffee.”-Terri Guillemets
48. “He was my dream, and I was his coffee – And when you poured us together, it was something.”-Josephine Baker
49. “I began wearing hats as a young lawyer because it helped me to establish my professional identity. Before that, whenever I was at a meeting, someone would ask me to get coffee.” -Bella Abzug
50. “I believe humans get a lot done, not because we’re smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee.” -Flash Rosenberg
51. “I poured a compass into my coffee, to give the flavor of some direction.” -Jarod Kintz
52. “A morning coffee is my favorite way of starting the day, settling the nerves so that they don’t later fray.” – Marcia Carrington
< p>53. “I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.” – Steven Wright
54. “Good communication is just as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.”-Anne Morrow Lindbergh
55. “I think if I were a woman I’d wear coffee as a perfume.” – John William Van Druten
56. “Coffee: creative lighter fluid.” -Floyd Maxwell
57. “I was taken by the power that savoring a simple cup of coffee can have to connect people and create community.” – Howard Schultz
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58. “I would rather suffer from coffee than be senseless.”-Napoleon Bonaparte
59. “I’d rather take coffee than compliments just now.” ― Louisa May Alcott
60. “I’ve taken up meditation. I like to have an espresso first to make it more challenging.” -Betsy Salkind
61. “If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning.”-Mae West
62. “Kids are meeting in coffee shops and basements figuring out what’s unsustainable in their communities. That’s the future.”–Ian Somerhalder
63. “If it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality”. – David Letterman
64. “If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.”-Abraham Lincoln
65. “It is inhumane to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity”. – Dave Barry
66. “If your eyes hurt after you drink coffee, take the spoon out of the cup.” -Norm Crosby
67. “Smell the roses. Smell the coffee. Whatever makes you happy.” – Rita Moreno
68. “It doesn’t matter where you’re from–or how you feel… There’s always peace in a strong cup of coffee.” ― Gabriel Bá
69. “It must be slow, for I have been drinking it for sixty-five years and I am not yet dead.” – Voltaire
70. “No coffee can be good in the mouth that does not first send a sweet offering of odor to the nostrils.”-Henry Ward Beecher
71. “It turned out people truly cried into their coffee cups.”-Jodi Picoult
72. “It’s amazing how the world changes through the eyes of a cup of coffee.” – Donna A. Favors
73. “Never drink black coffee at lunch; it will keep you awake in the afternoon.” -Jilly Cooper
74. “I’ve taken up meditation. I like to have an espresso first to make it more challenging.” – Betsy Salkind
75. “No matter how much strong coffee we drink, almost after-dinner will counteract it.” -Kin Hubbard
76. “Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It’s the only thing “real” men do that doesn’t seem to threaten their masculinity. To women, it’s on the same domestic entry level as putting the spring back into the toilet-tissue holder or taking a chicken out of the freezer to thaw.” – Erma Bombeck
77. “No matter what historians claimed, BC really stood for Before Coffee.”-Cherise Sinclair
78. “lack coffee must be strong and boiling; if strong coffee does not agree with you, do not drink black coffee. And if you do not drink black coffee, do not drink any coffee at all.”-Andre Simon
79. “No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee’s frothy goodness.” – Sheik Abd-al-Kadir
80. “Once you wake up and smell the coffee, it’s hard to go back to sleep.”-Fran Drescher
81. “Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline, the first often tasting like the second.” – Edward Abbey
82. “People don’t stop eating, and they don’t stop drinking coffee.”-Magic Johnson
83. “People say money can’t buy happiness. They lie. Money buys coffee, coffee makes me happy!” – Anonymous
84. “Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.”-Earl Wilson
85. “Some of the world’s most effective thoughts happen over a brew of morning’s coffee”-Prabhukrishna M
86. “The coffee is prepared in such a way that it makes those who drink it witty: at least there is not a single soul who, on quitting the house, does not believe himself four times wittier that when he entered it.”-Charles de Secondat Montesquieu
87. “The coffee was so strong it snarled as it lurched out of the pot.”-Betty MacDonald
88. “The morning cup of coffee has an exhilaration about it which the cheering influence of the afternoon or evening cup of tea cannot be expected to reproduce.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes
89. “The powers of a man’s mind are directly proportioned to the quantity of coffee he drinks.”-James Mackintosh
90. “The second cup of coffee is never as good as the first.”-Theodore Roosevelt
91. “There are various theories what characteristics, what combination of traits, what qualities in our men won [World War II]… but, speaking from my observation of our , I should say the war was won on coffee.” -Ilka Chase
92. “There isn’t enough coffee in the United States to keep everyone awake during a Presidential election campaign.” -Donald W. Brown
93. “There’s nothing sweeter than a cup of bitter coffee.” – Rian Aditia
94. “These angry zombies were rushing to work, and their eyes flashed fair warning: Don’t mess with us. We haven’t had our coffee.” -Joan Frank
95. “They said I could be anything, so I was caffeinated!” Lizzie Chantree
96. “To me, the smell of fresh-made coffee is one of the greatest inventions.”- Hugh Jackman
97. “Way too much coffee. But if it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.”-David Letterman
98. “We want to do a lot of stuff; we’re not in . We didn’t get a good night’s sleep. We’re a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.” – Jerry Seinfeld
99. “What do you want?” “Just coffee. Black – like my soul.” – Cassandra Clare
100. “What goes best with a cup of coffee? Another cup”. – Henry Rollins
101. “What on earth could be more luxurious than a sofa, a book, and a cup of coffee”. – Anthony Trollope
102. “What would life be without coffee? But then, what is it even with coffee?” -King Louis XV
103. “When I wake up in the morning, I just can’t get started until I’ve had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I’ve tried other enemas…” – Emo Philips
104. “When traveling with someone, take a large dose of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee.”-Helen Hayes
105. “Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank his coffee before it was cool.”-Barista Life
106. “Why do they always put mud into coffee on board steamers? Why does the tea taste of boiled boots?” -William Makepeace Thackeray
107. “Without coffee, nothing gets written. Period.”-Nancy Kress
108. “Without my morning coffee, I’m just like a dried-up piece of goat.”-Johann Sebastian Bach
109. “You can’t have a decent food culture without a decent coffee culture: the two things grow up together.” – Adam Gopnik
110. “I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.”-Lewis Black
111. ‘I think if I were a woman I’d wear coffee as a perfume.”-John Van Druten
112. “You can’t have a decent food culture without a decent coffee culture: the two things grow up together.” – Adam Gopnik
113. “Adventure in life is good; consistency in coffee even better”.–Justina Chen
There are so many benefits of taking coffee. Though the addiction is condemned, you can get addicted to these funny coffee quotes. Coffee is here with us and it is here to stay. I hoped you enjoyed all the different flavors of the funny coffee quotes above.
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StudentsandScholarship Team.
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